I Am…

I Am…

This past fall I was asked to write about myself.  The prompt was as simple as “Tell us who you are”.  Currently I am in graduate school pursuing my Master’s in Higher Education Administration so I do a lot of writing about research and advising and a few reflection pieces here and there.  But most of my writing consists of citing other peoples work rather than writing about me personally.  The open ended prompt, to any fan of writing would appear as gold or at least for me and my style of writing it is like a dream come true.  I saw this piece and knew I could go anywhere with it.  Plus, I love telling my story because I think my experiences kind of make me the cats meow.

However, after I started writing I found a common theme.  I write repetitive openings such as, I am…  I am…. I am… and occasionally throw in a few adjectives and jokes.  I like the flow it gives off when reading a piece that has one topic.  I imagined it as a long poem.  Regardless, I wrote a page and it was fun!  Self reflection pieces are one of my favorite types of writing.  I am a thinker and of course my favorite subject is myself.  Now, don’t get me wrong I am not a narcissist, I think about all aspects of life regarding traveling, personal favorites, growing as an individual, animals, etc. and I just happen to be the constant in each of those thoughts.  I like to think I am an individual who is open to all possibilities in the sense that I acknowledge that I am always wondering and progressing in my own evolution.

Rereading this piece, most of my I am statement have been true for the past 8 years.  These are the cornerstones to who I am so I am not sure if these will change but I will revisit this prompt at the end of this school year or wherever seems appropriate. I propose the same prompt to you, sit down and write about yourself, put some pen to paper or finger tips to keyboard and write away.  Wherever your mind goes, let it.  Life is a journey as they say, so here goes…

” I am a caring, loving accidentally occasionally ungrateful daughter and a sarcastic, considerate, younger sister. I am a friend, the funny friend that everyone adores, at least I like to think so. I am Italian and Armenian but take more pride in my Italian side. I am an athlete BUT one who did not play high school sports and feels strongly about how politically influenced they are. I am an animal lover that dreams to own a ranch one day with all the animals I could ever dream of. I am a proud mom to 2 cats and 1 goober of a dog. I am a lover of the color silver but that changes weekly, at the moment I am a fan of red. I am a friend of strangers; I am a listening ear and a shoulder to rest on. I am a thinker; I am a dreamer and occasionally a daydreamer. I am a girl who may think too much about boys, my puppy at home, the next cool picture I can Instagram, the flowers that may be at my wedding, what I’m going to eat next, when I can change my hair style again, and what my future will look like. I am a fan of laughing, smiling and being happy. I am an extrovert externally but an introvert in reality. I am a homebody but I love to be spontaneous and explore. I am a tomboy who loves playing with makeup and experimenting with my hair. I am not a big candy eater but I am a feen for Watermelon Sour Patches. I am super late with scheduling my fillings at the dentist. I am an avid Netflix/Amazon Prime watcher. I am a fan of many, many, many TV shows that include FRIENDS, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed, One Tree Hill, Sons of Anarchy, Grey’s Anatomy, Awkward., Hey Arnold, Dexter, Suits, Vampire Diaries, and many, many more. I am a sob for cheesy chick flicks and romance movies but love a good action scene with cars or guns. I am a lover of country music, 90’s pop, classic Celine Dion and Faith Hill and of course some Eminem and Lil Wayne. I am a beer drinker, Oreo dunker, and ice cream in a coffee mug eater. I am Summer baby who loves the sun and water as proven at my baptism when I tried to drink my oh so blessed bath.   I am a passionate learner when it comes to diversity and social justice. I am a kind heart with a sensitive interior yet I am a portrayer of a tough gal. I am a wannabe Betty Crocker but more so Martha Stewart whose goals include hosting family holiday dinners. I am obsessed with Pinning different nail styles, amazing outfits that aren’t my style, recipes, festive fun and hysterically awesome ECards. I am clueless when it comes to accessorizing but wishes I had every outfit on said Pinterest. I am confident that I will make a better adult then I do a student. I am confident that when this semester is over I plan on having a few drinks too many and again when this year is over repeatedly. I am a somewhat experienced road tripper—Tennessee, Alabama, Florida (multiple times) North Carolina, and Maryland just to name a few.   I am planning on building that list and getting cross-country one day. I am a hopeful traveler, suffering from Wanderlust. I am a long over deprived fan of theatre meaning I received the lead role in my 8th grade play but quit because I was afraid I wouldn’t remember my lines and haven’t returned to the stage since. I am striving to be a good parent one day and to raise my child similarly to how my parents raised me (I think I turned out ok). I am saddened by the fact that not everyone is considerate of others. I am learning to accept the fact that I can not control everything. I am currently struggling with what direction I want to go in after graduation. I am learning I need to do things that may make me uncomfortable in order to grow as a person. I am hopeful that I will make a difference in peoples lives regardless of what I do. I am a lot of things. I am a firm believer that the little things are the important things.”

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January 1, 2015…Just Another Day to Be Who You Want to Be

January 1, 2015…Just Another Day to Be Who You Want to Be

I’ve been arguing with myself if I wanted to start writing again.  As cliche as it is, I figured I might as well start the new year doing something I enjoy rather then question it since ya know you should…

So here I am, sitting in my pajamas at 11:42 in the morning on New Years Day doing just that.  Jack Johnson Pandora is on and I am surrounded by my brother and cousin on the couch tucked away off a little dirt road in our New Hampshire mountain house.  As much as I love the comfort of my own bed and hanging out with my furry friends, I love disappearing into the realm of what I have certainly witnessed to be the Southern state lost in the North.

The past few days I got to shop the after Christmas sales, eat the best Thai food and engage in some horribly amazing Cards Against Humanity rounds with family and friends.  I’ve been coming up here since I was a kid and I consider myself somewhat seasoned but I wonder if my desire to eat the same Thai food and order my delicious chai tea latte at the same hole in the wall coffee shop is considered a tourist tradition or just another day in the life of a local?

For New Years last night we spent the last few hours of 2014 hopping around from predinner drinks to family spaghetti dinner to multiple bars.  What I liked specifically about this new years was that I was in jeans, an old flannel and my new pom pom hat, completely comfortable, and absolutely looking like I fit in with the rest of the locals.  I wasn’t sporting a sparkly dress or any high heels, my face wasn’t all done up and I didn’t drop $100 on alcohol, hotel rooms, or tickets to a “party”.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love to wear a sparkly dress and attempt those youtube tutorials for the  “ultimate smokey eye” makeup but this year I was perfectly fine with my flannel and pom pom hat at the bar drinking Blue Moons.

My cousin, my brother and myself had celebrated with quite a few people and not because we are quite popular, well they might be, but because we had no idea what we wanted to do.  Our night consisted of dinner with our cousin, other couples and a baby, yes a baby.  Mind you, I’m 22……my new years eve plans will most likely never have a baby involved until it is my own, hopefully.   We then checked out a local bar in hopes of meeting up with a friend of my brothers.  A little background info, my brother now lives in NYC and wears suits to work.  He wheels and deals like no other and in my opinion, loves the sound of his own voice and knowing everyone, meaning he will befriend anyone of importance but he will also keep all us other folk in the back of his mind.  A few too many ‘Happy New Year’ hugs and a Jack and Ginger later we are off to the ‘Go To’ bar.  Low and behold, at 11:05 pm the line is 15 people deep and not moving.  A group is playing heads up and another is calling for a taxi, we get out of there immediately. After checking out the two bars, we ended up at a small local irish bar where the drop of a name allowed us to skip the wait and grab a seat at the bar.

I did a quick observation of the strangers I would soon be celebrating with being the typical people watcher I am.  What were the strangers like you ask?  Well, there were a few guys and gals sporting a flannel and jeans like myself, a handful of bearded men in work boots dancing to the beat of their own drum, the occasional couple enjoying their significant others body on the dance floor, a few friends that were out because tomorrow would be 2015 like my brother, cousin and myself, and the one girl who still wore that sequined skirt and statement necklace I thought about wearing.  The thought of my New Years Eve kiss, dreaded or magical however you would like to refer to it as, did cross my mind, but definitely not nearly as much as it did for my brother and my cousin.  One was on Tinder frantically swiping left and right and the other was talking about how prepared I should be for the game that was about to be thrown upon our arrival.  Yes, I scanned each bar I entered to see if there were any potential suitors but they were either partnered up or someone I wouldn’t be able to throw my own game at because I was with my older brother and older cousin.  I accepted it and still hopelessly dreamnt of my own knight in shining armor sneaking up and surprising me with the last minute NYE kiss like Ryan Atwood gave Marissa Cooper on the NYE episode of The OC or Ashton Kutcher gave Amanda Peet in A Lot Like Love.  Granted I wouldn’t have the long history with that knight but hey who’s to say that kiss wouldn’t be the start of that fairy tale love.

My cousin is talking to Ms. Tinder, the band plays Girls Just Want to Have Fun and I am laughingly singing along with a bar neighbor who my brother is semi interested in.  A few songs later and a few champagne bottles popped it’s time.  5, 4, 3, 2, 1…Happy New Year!  A kiss on the forehead from my brother and a few cheers with some strangers and the new year is upon us.  Sadly to say, no kiss from my knight in shining armor but ringing in the new year with my brother is a thing that will soon become a tradition.  I didn’t stress about missing out on the hottest party or hold onto my phone waiting for the next NYE snapchat or “I’m drunk” text.  I enjoyed the laissez-faire New Years plans and am ready to keep doing that the rest of my time here.

It’s 2015 and I believe it is the time to reinvent oneself since it’s the start of the new calendar year and page one of the three hundred and sixty five age book.  However, today is just another day with another opportunity to prove that actions speak louder than words whose date ends in a different number.  Instead of posting about the revisions you want to make or the person you want to become, why not take the first step towards that.  Stop talking and start doing.  Create that blog you always thought about, take the long drive you’ve sang about, reach out to that old friend you often think about, take a break from society and stay in bed all day, just stop thinking about it and DO IT.   If next week rolls around and you still haven’t changed a thing, don’t let that get you down.  As Ernest Holmes said, “All limitations are self-imposed”.  I suppose I am writing this blog as a mini motivation to others but more so as proof to myself that I am making those daily changes and will hopefully see improvements in my own writing.  I am stepping out of my normal activity and doing something I may not be 100% comfortable with.  I am moving forward in my own personal growth and holding myself accountable.

Until next time, make the change, take the plunge and smile…it feels good doesn’t it?