I’m not sure if this happens to anyone at their family engagements or if it did happen to any of you before you had a ring put on it but I’m pretty sure every family has one heckler or one individual who wants to ask about your romantic life. Here’s a quick backstory, I just got out of a relationship last Spring we had been going out for a little over the year so my whole family was aware. This past winter during the holidays, I swear every “catch up” conversation I had with relatives consisted of them asking me if I was still with my ex and me saying no and them continuing on saying “oh well, don’t worry you’ll find someone” or “who knows, maybe it will work out in the future”, or “you’ll meet someone”. Every time I heard these comments all I could do was put a smile on my face but inside I was thinking..One: I am not worried about finding someone, I am only 22 years young. Two: I KNOW it won’t work out in the future I wasn’t planning on revisiting that situation, I am happy we broke up, we broke up for a reason, it wasn’t working-so no we will not reconnect again in the future. And Three: Yes, I will meet someone but I am not looking at the moment.
I am 22 years young, getting my Master’s degree and working, looking forward to entering the real world come May, focusing on bettering myself and getting healthy and doing my own thing. As much as I like having that special person, I love being by myself. I love curling up in my bed and watching movies for hours removing myself from the outside world. I love that I can go to the gym and focus on me for me. I love that I can go out with friends and flirt with guys or not and just dance with my girls. I love that I can leave me phone at home and go shopping and be in my own world. I know I can do all of these things if I had a significant other but I am 22 and am still working on myself. I am a strong believer that you need to be happy with yourself before you try to be happy with someone else. I think that is why I love Love. I think about the future and how when I reach that point where I am happy with myself that I will automatically be happy with my man. I already think I am a pretty cool person now so when I get to that point I will already be loving life and enjoying myself so my Love will only make my enjoyment of life that much better if that makes sense. I plan to always grow and improve myself but when I finally reach a state of mind that I am at peace with, I will be unstoppable. Now that sounds cheesy but that’s my outlook on life.
Writing this has been difficult even though I love thinking, talking and writing about Love. It is hard to put all of my thoughts into words about such a large, overwhelming topic that can cause a whirlwind of emotions so I ask you to bare with me.
Maybe because Valentines Day is right around the corner or because I have been watching a few too many Hallmark movies but all I can do is think about Love. Sometimes I even catch myself singing an Ashlee Simpson’s song, L-O, L-O, L-O, L-O-V-E, I’m talking about Love! Love is in the air and you can’t escape it. There have been songs written for it, books all about it, poems rhyming regarding it, and movies that make us all hope for it or hate on it.
I’ve been crying over these Hallmark movies recently even though they are super predictable and most of the time cheesy. I can’t help it but I have been reminiscing about past Valentine’s days, dreaming about my future husband and the butterflies in my stomach kinda love that I hope for and realizing how much I love Love. Yes, I can pin different floral arrangements and bridesmaid dresses to my Here Comes the Bride board but it’s not the same. When I actually stop and think about Love, I get all giddy and I feel at ease. I am not nervous about finding that one true love everyone talks about or how old I will be when I get married, I just think about what it means to finally have that one person who will make playing cards with that much more enjoyable, laugh at my stupid think out loud moments, or will go on a spur of the moment road trip with me just because and who will take the dog out in the morning because I won’t want to leave the comfy, warm bed.
We create our own happiness, give ourselves opportunities and can limit ourselves if we allow it. “You attract the right things when you have a sense of who are,” Amy Poehler once said. I suppose I am just eager and excited for what is to come. I am trying to live in the moment but when I think about where I am going, I can’t help myself. When I finally meet that person who I can share a Love with, I can only imagine the fun we will have together.